


Soldier Boy

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-07
Updated: 2006-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:26:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9279860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx
Summary: Spoiler: Pilot, Asylum, Faith





	

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler: Pilot, Asylum, Faith

“Remember when you called me ‘Daddy’s Little Soldier’ when we were back at the asylum?” Dean asked out of the blue as he was propped up against the headboard idly flicking through the television channels… all eleven of them.

Sam, who was sitting crossed legged on his bed, looked up from the computer with a frown between his eyes and a splash of red on his cheeks. “Ye-eah,” Sam answered cautiously.

“While that may be true, it doesn’t hold any special place in dad’s heart, ya know.”

Sam’s frown deepened. He was unsure of where Dean was going with this conversation. The fact that Dean was bringing it up in the first place was cause for concern, but Sam decided he would try to go with it.

“I know.”

“I mean,” Dean continued as though Sam hadn’t spoken. “Even Commanders are concerned about their troops; and you saw how well that worked out… Dad didn’t even bother to come and say ‘good-bye’ when you called him to tell him I was dying.”

Sam sat up straighter and closed the laptop. Dean never volunteered chick-flick moments and here he was starting one up.

Now Sam was _really_ concerned.

“Dean…”

“I may be ‘Daddy’s Little Soldier’, Sam, but you’ve always been Dad’s son. I’d take that over being his soldier any day.” The last was said so quietly that Sam wasn’t sure he’d heard right.

“Dean, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you how sorry I am about that. I didn’t mean…”

Dean continued to flick through the channels looking bored as though he wasn’t baring his soul to his brother.

“It’s okay, Sam. You were right. That’s exactly what I am. What I’ve always been. Ever since he put you in my arms the night mom died and told me to take you outside and not look back… I’ve been his soldier. And nothing more.”

“Dean,” Sam began, sliding himself to the side of his bed and hanging his legs over. He gripped the edge of the bed in his fists and leaned forward, hoping that his words would cut through the funk that Dean seemed to be in tonight. “Dean, you were just four years old. He had no right to put that much pressure on you.”

Dean still did not turn his head and continued to stare at the revolving channels. “Maybe not, but it’s what happened. I became his soldier, built to protect you, care for you, watch out for you at the expense of everything else.”

There was no bitterness in Dean’s voice. Just a lot of sadness and resignation.

“Including you,” Sam said softly.

“Yeah,” Dean answered, equally soft.

They remained silent for long minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

Sam couldn’t remember the last time that Dean had even remotely voluntarily given up this much personal information. All part of his soldierly upbringing, Sam supposed.

He thought about what Dean has said and realized, probably for the first time, what Dean must have been going through these last six or so months. Specifically these last few weeks.

Their dad up and leaves Dean without a word and then slowly starts feeding them coordinates for jobs to do without explanation of where he’s been all this time. Then within a span of just a few months, they end up going back home and Dean gets hurt bad enough that he’s given only a few weeks to live. In each instance, they call their dad for the support a father should give his sons, and received nothing in return. 

Dean had told Sam how he had called their dad when they were in Lawrence and they didn’t even get an answering phone call, much less the requested summons. Then barely a month later, Sam calls their dad to tell him that Dean is sick and John doesn’t even bother to come to see Dean before he dies.

Sam took in a shaky breath. Dean was right… even Commanders care more for their troops than their dad apparently does for them.

It was an eye-opening revelation.

Without thought, Sam stood up and moved over to Dean’s bed. Crawling on the mattress, he stretched out beside Dean and removed the remote from Dean’s hand, turning off the television in the process. He tossed the remote over to his bed before sitting side by side with his brother, shoulders pressed tightly together.

Sam heard Dean’s sudden intake of breath and knew that Dean was trying his damnedest not to break down. He took Dean’s hand in his own and squeezed the fingers tightly.

“Fuck him, Dean. We have each other and that’s all that matters.”

After a few minutes, Sam heard Dean whisper, “Thank you, Sammy.”

 

Finis


End file.
